Fly high my little darling.

Thursday 18th May – I sat in the window waiting desperately, my baby was coming home for the night!! Not how he should be, but in his beautiful pure white coffin. The funeral director brought you in and laid you in your Moses basket, I felt happy to have you home but was dreading the next day. I went to bed and brought you up with me and slept next to you, thinking about you. I woke up and instantly wanted to go back to sleep, I wasn’t ready for today to come around.. Friday 19th May. Yet again another horrendous day, before I knew it the funeral director was at the door ready, but I was not. I didn’t want to say goodbye, I don’t want this to be the end. I sat in the hurse holding my mum and sisters hand so tight, tears just rolling uncontrollably down my face. It shouldn’t be like this, I want my baby. We get to the church and my amazing brother carried Charlie Button, I walked behind with my mum and sister either side – and I’m so glad they were there because they held me when I tried running, my heart was broken but now it’s shattering. I sat at the front holding my mums hand, wishing to wake up from this horrendous nightmare, I don’t really remember much of being inside of the church but I remember hearing my baby’s song “hug him once for me” whilst in hospital when me & Charlie were on our own, I put it on so it would always be our song, as soon as I heard it, I was back in the room.. kissing my boy and holding him tightly, I’d do anything to go back and be with my baby. When the service was over, we went up to the crematorium where they lowered Charlie into the ground, with his teddy laying on top of his coffin, I sprinkled some blue rose petals on top. Fly high baby boy, your the brightest star in the sky. Mummy loves & misses you unconditionally. My little darling.

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